iMessenger Twilight Version
by GottaLoveUglies
Summary: For no reason at all, Edward, Bella, Jacob, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, Esme, Carlisle, and Nessie decide to IM each other.  Now with Volturi!
1. Author's Note

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics? No. If I owned twilight, would I be in a tiny apartment that smells like rats? No. So do you really think I own twilight? **Hint**: The answer rhymes with snow.

Edward-WealthyGuardian

Bella-Cheeeshead

Emmett-MachoGuy

Rosalie-ClothesHorse

Jasper-EmoDude

Alice-Shopaholic

Esme-VampireMom

Renesme-CutestLittleThing

Jacob-WerewolfDude

Carlisle-VampireDaddy

**A/N**: I'll try to post one chapter a week, but my dad always sneaks into my room and takes apart my computer (he's a computer technitcian) so, I might not make it. I'll try my hardest.

Angora


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics? No. If I owned twilight, would I be in a tiny apartment that smells like rats? No. So do you really think I own twilight? **Hint**: The answer is no.

Chapter 1

**WealthyGuardian has logged on.**

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**WealthyGuardian**-Hey Emmett! How're the Colts doing?

**Cheesehead**-One, I am not a Colts fan. Notice the fact that my screen name happens to be Cheesehead. As in Greenday Packers fan. Are the Colts playing with the Packers? No! So go get some football knowledge!

**WealthyGuardian**-I was born in 1901. You can't really blame me. And you said one like you were going to say something else.

**Cheesehead**-In fact, I was. Two, EDWARD ANTHONY MASON CULLEN, EXACTLY WHAT LED YOU TO BELIEVE THAT I WAS EMMETT?

**WealthyGuardian**-If you're not Emmett, then who are you?

**Cheesehead**-Is is not acceptable for your wife to like sports?

**WealthyGuardian**-Oh crap.

**MachoDude has logged on.**

**MachoDude**-Hi Edward! Who are you talking to?

**WealthyGuardian**-My wife is a Packers fan.

**MachoDude**-AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

**MachoDude has logged off.**

**Cheesehead**-Emmett is so dead.

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**WealthyGuardian**-Well, at least she's killing Emmett, and not me.

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**Cheesehead**-You're next, Edward.

**WealthyGuardian**-*gulps* You can get so creepy sometimes.

**Cheesehead**-Thank you. But sucking up will get you nowhere.

**WealthyGuardian**-!

**WealthyGuardian has logged off.**

**Cheesehead**-Am I really that scary?

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**A/N: **Thanks to all you awesome readers out there, who took the time to read my story. All flames will be used for making s'mores.

Angora


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Me no own Twilight.

**ClothesHorse has logged on.**

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**Shopaholic**-Hey Rose.

**ClothesHorse**-Hey Alice! How's London?

**Shopaholic**-Great! Do you want me to get you something?

**ClothesHorse**-Nine pink pairs of pumps and a fedora please!

**Shopaholic**-Should I get something for Bella?

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**Cheesehead**-Nooooooooooooooooo!

**ClothesHorse**-Hey baby. But why don't you want me to get something for Bella?

**Cheesehead**-You think I'm Emmett, don't you.

**Shopaholic-**But if you're not Emmett, then-OMG hi Jazzy!

**Cheesehead**-I'm not Jasper either!

**ClothesHorse**-Edward?

**Cheesehead**-That would be a no.

**Shopaholic**-If you're not any one of them, then who are you?

**Cheesehead**-Is it wrong for a girl to love the Packers?

**Shopaholic**-YES!

**ClothesHorse**-YES!

**Cheesehead**-GRRRR!

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**MachoGuy has logged on.**

**MachoGuy**-Hi! What are you girls talking 'bout?

**ClothesHorse**-Bella, I think you have a bit of a sexual confusion problem?

**MachoGuy**-Babe, what are you talking about?

**ClothesHorse**-Are you coming on to me? This is getting out of hand!

**MachoGuy**-What is wrong with coming on to you?

**Shopaholic**-Bella, you're a girl. There's nothing wrong with it to me, but...Rose doesn't swing that way.

**MachoGuy**-Ummmm…Why do you think I'm Bella?

**ClothesHorse**-You aren't going to change you name to Bello, are you? Next you're going to tell me that you want a sex change.

**MachoGuy**-I'm not Bella, I'm not sexually confused, and I don't want a sex change!

**Shopaholic**-Are you really Emmett?

**MachoGuy**-YES!

**ClothesHorse**-Prove it.

**MachoGuy**-Umm…Ooh, I got one! You have a birthmark shaped like a chicken on the left side of your neck.

**ClothesHorse**-You were supposed to keep that a secret!

**Shopaholic**-OMG! LOL! Like a chicken!

**ClothesHorse**-EMMETT! YOU ARE SO DEAD!

**ClothesHorse has logged off.**

**MachoGuy has gotten disconnected.**

**Shopaholic**-Ah, what a happy family.

**Shopaholic has logged off.**

Not updating was killing me, so I decided to go ahead and post it, Friday or not. I'll still update on Friday too. I love all my readers!

Angora


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING, I TELL YOU! NADA! ZIP! ZILCH! NAUGHT! ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS IS MINE!

Chapter 3

**EmoDude has logged on.**

**WealthyGuardian has logged on.**

**EmoDude**-Hey Edward!

**WealthyGuardian**-Mornin' Jasper.

**EmoDude**-So...What's going on?

**WealthyGuardian**-Bella is on a rampage.

**EmoDude**-That's cold, man! Why?

**MachoGuy has logged on.**

**MachoGuy**-Apparently, Bella's screen name is Cheesehead, and Eddie here mistook her for me. I logged on, Edward told me she was a Packer's fan, I said AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!, then she tried to kill me. She got the fire going and everything. The next day, Rose and Alice mistook her for me, then she got pissed and logged off. I logged on about a second after she logged off, and they mistook me for Bella, and started saying that I was sexually confused. Then they started saying I wanted a sex change. I told them I was Emmett, and to prove it I said she had a chicken-shaped birthmark on the left side on neck. Then, she got mad at me because Alice was in on the whole conversation. And the next thing I knew, heads were rolling. Literally.

**WealthyGuardian**-She tried to kill me too.

**EmoDude**-Two different women tried to kill you twice in one week. You got it bad, Emmett.

**MachoGuy**-I never took Bella for a Packer's fan.

**WealthyGuardian**-I never took her for a football fan, period!

**EmoDude**-Never thought she was Wisconsin fan either.

**EmoDude**-Emmett?

**MachoGuy**-Yeah?

**EmoDude**-Bella is slowly becoming you. It's just plain old scary.

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**Cheesehead**-Do you feel dead yet? 'Cuz you're going to be in just a second.

**WealthyGuardian has been disconnected.**

**MachoGuy**-Uh oh.

**MachoGuy has been disconnected.**

**EmoDude**-But I didn't-AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!

**EmoDude has been disconnected.**

**Cheesehead**-Heeheeheeheeheehee

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**A/N**: Thanks to all my fantastic readers, and to my fantastic readers that sent reviews! I love you guys! And yes, I'll still update on Friday. I don't know so much about tomorrow though, but I'll try my absolute hardest!

Angora


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: If I own Twilight, a duck-billed platypus has just become president.

**VampireMom has logged on.**

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**VampireMom**-Bella, honey, why was Emmett's head rolling down the stairs, screaming profanities about about you at 3 'o clock in the morning?

**Cheesehead**-I don't know. Is this some kind of a joke?

**VampireMom**-I almost stepped on it. I think not.

**Cheesehead**-Emmett probably said something stupid to Rosalie, and she ripped his head off.

**VampireMom**-But can you explain exactly why he was cussing you, of all people, out?

**Cheesehead**-Rumor has it that he said something mean about me or Nessie and she got mad.

**VampireMom**-That is such a lie. Bella, I've told you once, I've told you a million times, Emmett is not good disemboweling practice!

**Cheesehead**-*pouts* Sorry Mom. But he hates the Packers!

**VampireMom**-I know honey, but that's no reason to tear him into little pieces!

**Cheesehead**-Sorry Esme.

**VampireMom**-Now go say sorry.

**Cheesehead**-Alright. *sighs*

**VampireMom**-Now, young lady!

**Cheesehead**-I'm going, I'm going!

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**VampireMom**-Kids these days. Crazy.

**VampireMom has logged off.**

**A/N: **I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I got a case of writer's block last night. I hope it's okay tomorrow, but it might not be, so...Yeah. I'll still update on Friday, writer's block or not. Thanks to all my wonderful readers!

Angora


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics? No. If I owned twilight, would I be in a tiny apartment that smells like rats? No. So do you really think I own twilight? **Hint**: The answer is no.

**MachoGuy has logged on.**

**EmoDude has logged on.**

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**MachoGuy**-Jazzy, I'm scared. My head has been ripped off three times this week.

**EmoDude**-Once is quite enough for me. They were kinda your fault though.

**MachoGuy**-Once by my wife, and twice by my calm, beloved sister.

**EmoDude**-I think Rosalie and Bella have severe anger issues.

**MachoGuy**-Shh! Don't say that! They'll hear you! *looks around fearfully*

**EmoDude**-As much as I want to burst out laughing at this point, I have to admit that you, for once, are right. They have spies everywhere. In every nook. In every cranny. In every closet! We're doomed! Doomed I tell you! DOOMED!

**MachoGuy**-Are you drunk? On drugs? Or have you just plain gone insane?

**EmoDude**-I don't think so. Unless Rose or Bella drugged me, but I doubt it.

**MachoGuy**-Anyways, its still not safe. They are watching our every move!

**Cheesehead**-You realize that I have heard, err, seen everything you just said, right?

**MachoGuy**-*Gulps*

**Cheesehead**-I won't harm you Emmett. Not today at least. But Esme said nothing about mauling you, Jazzy.

**EmoDude**-Emmett, my will's under my dresser! Tell Alice I love her! AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!

**EmoDude has been disconnected.**

**MachoGuy**-I'm very scared of you, Bella.

**Cheesehead**-You're too kind.

**MachoGuy**-Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go now.

**Cheesehead**-Caio!

**MachoGuy has logged off.**

**Cheesehead**-Now to attend to Jazzy...

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**A/N: **Hey guys, I'm over my writer's block(thank god) and I'm back at writing fanfiction. I won't be able to update on Friday, as previously planned, but I will be able to update again today, at least. Thanks to all my wonderful readers, who have stayled loyal to me. I love you guys!

Angora


	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics? No. If I owned twilight, would I be in a tiny apartment that smells like rats? No. So do you really think I own twilight? **Hint**: The answer is no.

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**Maliik has logged on.**

**Maliik**-Who you?

**Cheesehead**-Mornin'. My name's Bella.

**Maliik**-My name Maliik.

**Cheesehead**-Where are you from, Mr. Maliik?

**Maliik**-Me from Uganda. Where you from?

**Cheesehead-**I'm from the United States. Pleased to meet you, Maliik!

**Maliik**-Nice meet you too.

**Cheesehead**-How's Uganda?

**Maliik**-Not bad. We getting more food than ever!

**Cheesehead**-Well, that's nice! Its good to know the United Food Program is helping people.

**Maliik**-Last night, we have party. Have big cake! Eat big ham!

**Cheesehead**-Nothing like some pork to kick off a whole new era.

**Maliik**-We also play Dance Dance Revolution.

**Cheesehead**-LOL! That's nice! I didn't know they had that game all the way over there.

**Maliik**-What you do for party?

**Cheesehead**-We have music, we dance, sometimes we have dinner or a cake, and we just, hang out.

**Maliik**-Sounds fun!

**Cheesehead-**It is. I'm not really a person who likes to be in the center of attention, though. Being around lots of people is the lonliest place you could be.

**Maliik**-I understand. Me feel same way.

**Cheesehead**-Yeah.

**Maliik**-Me have to go. Talk later?

**Cheesehead**-Sure! Anytime.

**Maliik**-Bye!

**Cheesehead**-Bye!

**Maliik has logged off.**

**Cheesehead**-The places I go for a decent conversation.

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**A/N: **So my dad's dragging me off to that stupid techy dude convention in Portland, and I won't be able to update on Friday. I'm so sorry! But I posted two chapter today, so I hope that make up for it. Thanks for my readers and reviewers!

Angora


	8. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. However, every character I made up is, in fact, mine.

Chapter 7

**WealthyGuardian has logged on.**

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**WealthyGuardian**-Who were you talking to earlier?

**Cheesehead**-A guy from Uganda named Maliik. Why? Jealous?

**WealthyGuardian**-No! I just wondered why you were so happy yesterday. You were on the computer most of the time, too.

**Cheesehead**-It was fun talking to him! Did you know they have DanceDanceRevolution over there?

**WealthyGuardian**-They do? I thought you were just talking about something like uncooperative cattle or something.

**Cheesehead-**Uncooperative cattle? Africa may be a bit bland, but it's not that boring!

**WealthyGuardian**-Well? It's a third world country! What was I supposed to think?

**Cheesehead**-Don't be jelling!

**WealthyGuardian**-*Stares* Please explain to me exactly why I would be jealous.

**Cheesehead**-'Cuz I got an awesome Ugandan penpal, and you don't!

**WealthyGuardian**-So? I'm not jealous of you IMing some guy from a third-world country!

**Cheesehead**-Oh, yes, you are very jealous. I can hear it in you voice, uh, I mean, see it in your text.

**WealthyGuardian**-That sounds like something out of a Taylor Swift song.

**Cheesehead**-It does, doesn't it? Anyways, what were we talking about again?

**WealthyGuardian**-Your farming friend.

**Cheesehead**-Right. Maliik. Admit it, you are jelling more than jam!

**WealthyGuardian**-*sighs* Bella, just drop it already. I'm not jealous of you. I am 100% envy-free.

**Cheesehead**-Fine. But you are, in fact, jealous.

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**WealthyGuardian**-This is precisely why I didn't date for 110 years.

**WealthyGuardian has logged off.**

**A/N**: This is my only chapter where no one has gotten disconnected. Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks to my readers and reviewers!

Angora


	9. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics? No. If I owned twilight, would I be in a tiny apartment that smells like rats? No. So do you really think I own twilight? **Hint**: The answer is no.

Chapter 8

**WealthyGuardian has logged on.**

**JoeMillionaire has logged on.**

**JoeMillionaire**-Yo yo yo, wassup my peep!

**WealthyGuardian**-Umm...Hi?

**JoeMillionaire**-What's the haps, my brother?

**WealthyGuardian**-Nothing. Just, um, chatting.

**JoeMillionaire**-You got a lady?

**WealthyGuardian**-Yeah.

**JoeMillionaire**-What's her name?

**WealthyGuardian**-Bella.

**JoeMillionaire**-She pretty?

**WealthyGuardian**-Yeah. Very.

**JoeMillionaire**-Then you got yourself a good catch. But what are you here for?

**WealthyGuardian**-Well, she kinda met this Ugandan guy over the internet, and we sorta had a fight.

**JoeMillionaire**-That's just cold, man.

**WealthyGuardian**-It's not like she was cheating on me or anything, it's just that she was talking to another guy on the internet, and I'm extremely jealous now.

**JoeMillionaire**-She probably mean no harm by what she did.

**WealthyGuardian**-How could I control this jealousy I feel though?

**JoeMillionaire**-Be happy for her. Tell her you're jealous. And challenge the beliefs that lead you to be jealous in the first place.

**WealthyGuardian**-Wow! Thanks! You should be a phsycologist!

**JoeMillionaire**-Then when you get a headache from trying to do those things, take two asprin and IM me in the morning.

**WealthyGuardian**-Thanks Joe!

**JoeMillionaire**-Anytime, Edward. Anytime.

**WealthyGuardian**-How did you know my name?

**JoeMillionaire**-That's what your name means, is it not?

**WealthyGuardian**-You're good.

**JoeMillionaire**-I know. Take care of yourself, homeboy.

**WealthyGuardian**-You too. Bye!

**JoeMillionaire has logged off.**

**WealthyGuardian**-I feel so much better now. Except for the fact I seem to be back in the 80's...Ah, who cares! I'm cured!

**WealthyGuardian has logged off.**

**A/N**: Thanks for reading and reviewing everybody! I'll have more up on Monday at least, I promise.

Angora


	10. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics? No. If I owned twilight, would I be in a tiny apartment that smells like rats? No. So do you really think I own twilight? **Hint**: The answer is no.

Chapter 9

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**WealthyGuardian has logged on.**

**WealthyGuardian**-Hey Bella.

**Cheesehead**-Hi Edward.

**WealthyGuardian**-About yesterday, it turns out I was jealous about you and Maliik. I'm sorry, I knew you two were just talking, but I still was jealous that you were talking to another guy like that.

**Cheesehead**-It's alright. I just talked to Maliik because I never met anyone from another country before, and thought it would be interesting to see what they did over there for fun and stuff.

**WealthyGuardian**-Still, I'm sorry.

**Cheesehead**-How did you come to this epiphany, anyways?

**WealthyGuardian**-I met a guy. He turned out to be a good phsycologist.

**Cheesehead**-*shakes head* I knew you were jealous! You went and got a penpal too!

**WealthyGuardian**-*sighs* Please don't bring it up. It'll reverse all the progress I've had so far.

**Cheesehead-**Alright, alright. Sad you didn't get him when Jacob still loved me.

**WealthyGuardian-**Yeah. But please don't bring that up either.

**Cheesehead-**So, what do you want to talk about?

**WealthyGuardian-**A very sunny day today, isn't it?

**Cheesehead-**You're unbelievable.

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**WealthyGuardian-**What did I do?

**WealthyGuardian has logged off.**

**A/N: **Thanks to my readers and my reviewers! Cheese is great!

Angora


	11. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics? No. If I owned twilight, would I be in a tiny apartment that smells like rats? No. So do you really think I own twilight? **Hint**: The answer is no.

Chapter 10

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**EmoDude has logged on.**

**Shopaholic**-Hey Jazzy!

**EmoDude-**Good morning Alice. Glad to see you're back!

**Shopaholic-**Me too. I'm glad to be back.

**EmoDude-**I don't know whether you've noticed or not, but there's something going on between them.

**Shopaholic-**Well, of course there is! They're married, for God's sake!

**EmoDude-**No, I mean like they're always stiff and, I don't know, detached when they're talking to each other. It's like they had a big fight or something.

**Shopaholic-**You saw that too! I thought that was just my imagination.

**EmoDude-**She seemed overly happy a few days ago. Could she be cheating on him?

**Shopaholic-**Bella's not that type of person. She wouldn't do something like that to him. I think.

**EmoDude-**She has been acting odd lately...and she said something about a Ugandan guy two days ago...I think she was talking with another guy on the Internet!

**Shopaholic-**But she must have not been cheating on him if Edward's still here.

**EmoDude-**Or is she is cheating on him and was lying to him when she said she wasn't.

**Shopaholic**-Or maybe Eddie dear is jealous of that guy talking to Bella.

**EmoDude**-Should we talk to Bella about it?

**Shopaholic-**But what if she gets offended and runs away?

**EmoDude**-Just say 'Bella, what's going on between you and Edward? The tension between you two is palpable!'

**Shopaholic**-I'll be right back. I'm going to ask her.

**EmoDude**-Alright. But don't overreact.

**Shopaholic-**What would make you think I would do such a thing?

* * *

A Few Tense Minutes Later...

**Shopaholic-**She was talking to this guy named Maliik on the Internet the other day. Edward got word of it and immediately got jealous. He talked to a guy over the Internet, and they made up, but she's still put out about it.

**EmoDude**-Nothing. Unless you suggest going for a swim, but after they take their clothes off and jump in, we steal them and run away.

**Shopaholic**-They won't talk to us for months if we do that.

**EmoDude**-Please, let them be this time. They have Nessie to keep them together. They'll be fine.

**Shopaholic**-I don't like this, but you're right. They should solve their problems on their own. But if they take too long, can we at least push them in the correct direction?

**EmoDude-**Fine.

**Shopaholic**-And watch from the sidelines with a bucket full of popcorn?

**EmoDude**-*snorts* Popcorn doesn't sound too good, but of course I will. I love their inevitable drama moments. Like a soap opera with less dramatic music in the background.

**Shopaholic**-And comment on what they're wearing, good or bad (mostly bad)?

**EmoDude**-*bursts into laughter* Definitely.

**Shopaholic**-It's a deal. *shakes hand*

**EmoDude**-*shakes hand back* It's a deal.

**Shopaholic has logged off.**

**EmoDude has logged off.**

**A/N: **Thanks to my readers! I'll have another chapter up today (at the soonest) or on Tuesday (at the latest). Review please!

Angora


	12. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own Maliik, but Twilight is in the possesion of one Stephinie Meyer.

Chapter 11

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**Maliik has logged on.**

**Maliik-**Hello Bella!

**Cheesehead**-Hi Maliik!

**Maliik**-You seem down. What's wrong?

**Cheesehead**-How did you get that out of a greeting?

**Maliik**-I have a gift. But don't change the subject. What is going on?

**Cheesehead**-Me and my husband got into a fight the other day. We made up, but things are still awkward between us.

**Maliik**-Can I ask what the fight was about, or would it be prying?

**Cheesehead**-You see, my husband has a bit of a jealousy problem, and he kinda got jealous of you talking to me.

**Maliik**-Should I leave?

**Cheesehead**-No, no, please stay. I need to talk to someone who's not in my family right now. Anyways, your english has really improved!

**Maliik**-Not really. I'm just using a dictionary to translate my answers from Runyankore to English.

**Cheesehead**-Oh. Good plan though!

**Maliik**-Thank you.

**Cheesehead**-You're welcome. When you left last time, you were going somewhere. Where was your wife dragging you off to?

**Maliik**-We're on a boat to America. Not like a cruise boat or anything. That would imply we had room to wiggle our toes.

**Cheesehead**-*bursts out laughing* Okay then. Where in America?

**Maliik**-Some place named Seattle.

**Cheesehead**-*eyes pop out of head* Really?

**Maliik**-Yeah.

**Cheesehead**-I live in Forks, about an hour away!

**Maliik**-Will you show me around?

**Cheesehead**-Sure! When are you getting there?

**Maliik**-Friday, at 2:00 p.m.

**Cheesehead**-Where should I meet you?

**Maliik**-I'll be waiting at Pier 37.

**Cheesehead-**Alright. I'll show you around then. See you there , Maliik!

**Maliik**-Bye!

**Maliik has logged off.**

**Cheesehead**-I have just asked to show a potential phsycopath around.

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**A/N: **So, whaddja think? Thanks to all my readers for looking at your computer screen and reading my story! And thanks to all my reviewers for typing up what you thought(I could really use more of that)!

Angora


	13. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I wish I had thought about Twilight, but my mind is apparently not that brilliant. This will have to do for now. *sighs*

Chapter 12

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**Shopaholic**-Hey Bella!

**Cheesehead**-Top of the morning, Pixie!

**Shopaholic**-Jasper was so right. You are turning into Emmett.

**Cheesehead**-Normally, I would get into an overly dramatic cat fight with you, but I'm way too happy to rip your dainty little head off!

**Shopaholic**-Thanks, I think.

**Cheesehead**-You're welcome! So, what do you want to talk about?

**Shopaholic**-Oh, right. Why are you so happy all of the sudden?

**Cheesehead**-I was talking to Maliik. He's coming to Seattle tommorrow!

**Shopaholic**-Bella! What the hell were you thinking, bringing him over like this? This could prove dangerous! What if he finds out our secret?

**Cheesehead-**He was coming here anyways. He aranged it right before the first time we talked.

**Shopaholic**-But still! The sun might show tommorrow!

**Cheesehead**-There's a 100% chance of rain, Alice. Unless I scream that we're vampires to the world, I think our secret is safe.

**Shopaholic**-But what if he tries to hurt you?

**Cheesehead**-Then I'll hurt him right back. It's just a measley human battling a superpowerful being.

**Shopaholic-**Now you really sound like Emmett.

**Cheesehead**-That is really offensive. I saw him try to eat a chair yesterday.

**Shopaholic**-WTF? A chair? I'm really going to need to speak with Rose...

**Cheesehead**-Please do. Anyways, Maliik is in no way our threat. Unless he turns out to be a vampire...but really, Alice, what are the chances of that happening?

**Shopaholic**-You just had to go and say it. Remember the fact that the universe seems to hate us!

**Cheesehead**-Oh, yeah. But if he is, at least I can try to get him to be a vegetarian!

**Shopaholic**-Can't Eddie or someone come with you, just in case? Possibly someone who can see the future?

**Cheesehead**-Do you want to come?

**Shopaholic**-You take subtle hints very well. Of course I'll come! This is going to be so exciting...YIPPEE! Oh yeah, I just checked out our future. He doesn't seem to be a threat, but it was kinda blurry. I'll find out later.

**Cheesehead-**Okay then. We're meeting at pier 37, at 2:00 pm.

**Shopaholic**-I can't wait!

**Cheesehead**-That's good Shorty! See you later!

**Shopaholic**-Bye!

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**Shopaholic**-Shorty? I'm gonna need name tags to distinguish between Bella and Emmett...

**Shopaholic has logged off.**

**A/N: **Thanks to all my wonderful readers and reviewers who took the time to read my story! It really means a lot to me. I might be able to keep posting one chapter a day, depending on how fast this stupid boat can go (on a sailboat with my dad, of all people), but I'll let you know when I can and can't post. Anyways, to answer any questions my readers will have, no, I have absolutely no idea where I'm going with this story. And at this moment, I don't really care. I'm going to get me some zeds.

Angora


	14. Interlude: Meeting Maliik

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. The envy of Stephanie Meyer will never stop.

Interlude: Meeting Maliik

"Bella, are you positively sure that going to meet this guy is a good idea? The universe hates us enough to ensure he will be a vampire." Alice said for the 196th time.

"No Alice, I am not sure. That's why I'm bringing you for backup. And if you ask me that question one more time, I'm going to let Emmett take a spin in your Porshe." Alice gulped. The last time that had happened, it came back as a useless lump of metal.

"I'm going to shut up now." Alice whimpered. "Just don't harm my 911 turbo carrera!" Bella just rolled her eyes.

"Overly dramatic pixie, that's what you are." Bella said. Alice mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like, "I'm going to need name tags to tell those two apart!" They took their purses and walked to the garage, where a wide variety of cars met their eyes.

"Can we take your Porshe?" Bella asked.

"Do you know how to drive stick?" Alice questioned.

"No. Do you want to drive?"

"Sure! The keys are back in the house." Alice bounced out of the garage, returning only a human second later, keys jingling in her hand. Alice hopped into the car, put the keys in the ignition, and bounced up and down on her seat as she waited for the garage door to open.

"Alice, have you had a red bull again?" Bella asked, eyes slightly narrowed.

"Of course not! How could you think I would do such a thing?" Alice replied, with a way too innocent expression.

"Alice, how you can get hyper off a red bull is beyond me. But I don't particularly want to keep Maliik waiting because we turned this car into a pretzel around a tree!" Bella admonished.

"Calm down, Bella. It's not like I got drunk off lye, or anything!"

"You can get drunk off lye? Alice, how could you try such a thing!"

"Well, sorry mom, but I was bored one day, and just decided to try drinking something, and we didn't have any Pepsi, so that's pretty much what happened!"

"When did you try it?"

"About a day after you became a newborn."

"And you didn't let me try some? That is so rude." Both of them burst out laughing. "Oh, look, the garage door is open! So shut up and drive, woman!" Alice gave a small laugh, and stepped on the gas, leaving the house behind.

* * *

9 red bulls later, Alice and Bella were very hyper. They had arrived at their destination, pier 37. And two very jumpy vampires were waiting impatiently at the docks, waiting for the tiny dingy carrying Bella's penpal. A small sailboat pulled up to the docks, and Bella and Alice did all they could to keep from jumping onto the boat and scouring every inch of it until they found the African native they were looking for. The motor stopped, and a man jumped onto the platform. The man had long brown hair, tied into a ponytail, and very pale skin. And at that moment, Alice and Bella were thinking the exact same thing. Vampire. The vampire tied the sailboat to the pier, and lowered a set of stairs. Out came a male vampire with short blonde hair, with a black-haired female on his arm, both with African features. And Bella knew it was exactly who she was looking for.

"Maliik?" She called cautiously. The blonde looked up. He was dressed in a brightly colored woven gown, as was his wife.

"Bella!" He yelled, a small smile on his face, as he started to walk forward. As for his wife, she was scrambling to pick her jaw up off the ground.

"Hey Bella?" Alice murmured.

"Yes, Alice?"

"The universe really has something against us."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Edward ate a Peruvian fire-breathing chucklepuff."

"I didn't mean it literally! What is a Peruvian fire-breathing chucklepuff, anyways?"

"It's a little animal that lives in the Andes. It looks like a tiny green cloud with bloodshot eyes. But we're off topic. He's a vampire! How are we going to handle this?"

"Ladies, you do realize I am right in front of you, right?" Said the woman, with a slight african accent. "My name is Chynah." She offered out her hand to shake.

"Hello!" Bella said, a bit too cheerfully, taking the offered hand. "I'm Bella, and this is Alice." Bella released her hand, and Alice shook it as well.

"Pleased to meet you, Bella. And you too, Alice." Chynah said. "I see you have met my husband. You were talking to him online, were you not?"

"Yes, I was. Nice to see you in person, Maliik!" Bella exclaimed.

"It nice to see you too, Bella. And you are Alice?" Maliik said, with a very deep voice.

"Yes, I am. It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Maliik."

"You too." They stood around for and awkward moment until Maliik clapped his hands. They all jumped. "I'm going to get luggage off boat." He said, then gracefully strode away, off onto the dingy they called a sailboat.

"Are you vampires too?" Chynah asked them in a hushed tone, so her husband couldn't hear.

"Yes. We don't mean to be rude or anything, but do you feed on humans?" Bella asked, a little fearfully.

"Of course not! I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did such a thing! We feed on the Peruvian fire-breathing chucklepuff!" Chynah exclaimed.

"That's good. But if you live in Uganda, how do you get that particular animal?" Alice said, extremely relieved. Chynah gave them an odd look.

"We import it, of course! We make a pilgrimage every year to the Andres. We're going down to Peru next week so we can feed." Chynah said.

"How do they taste?"

"Great. Maliik says they taste even better than humans." They watched him as he tried to balance a navy blue suitcase on his head, and fail miserably. Their giggles of amusement did not go unnoticed by the male vampire.

"Can I get help?"

"We'll go see the psychologist when we arrive in Santa Monica, okay honey?" Chynah joked. Maliik made a face, which only made the girls laugh harder. Once they had gotten their luggage in the taxi Alice had called, they all drove off to see the first sight they were going to see: The Space Needle.

They arrived there, looking at the place with awe. Chynah and Maliik had never seen a place so tall. After waiting in line for an hour (their vampire charm had no effect on the people letting people in) they reached the front of the line for the elevator that they were going to take to the top. After two old ladies in a walker who would be envious of the speed of a snail, they entered the elevator. They went up, and they reached the top, where they were greeted by a tantalizing view of the city.

"Wow." Chynah said, caught breathless at the sight of the Seattle skyline. "It's beautiful."

"I've never been up here before! This is great!" Bella yelled in glee, while bouncing up and down, which was annoying the crap out of the tour guide. Maliik couldn't speak through his awe, and Alice was laughing hysterically at Bella's reaction.

Next, they went to Pike Place Market. Bella, who had never been here before, oohed and aahed like the African couple in front of them. And every time they saw a weird fruit, or a piece of sausage shaped like a mongoose, Bella would jump up and down, squealing and pointing, until Alice would give in and hand over her credit card. And then grimace in disgust when Bella tried to eat it. After nineteen trips to the woman's bathroom, where she Bella puked her guts out, Bella still didn't learn her lesson about eating normal food. So after Bella tried to eat three chayote squashes, Alice had quite enough.

"Bella, if you eat one more odd fruit, I'll make sure your mouth is disconfigured enough to never chew something ever again!"

"Jeez Shorty, what's wrong with having a little fun? You should try some, it tastes great to vampires too!" Bella said with an innocent face on.

"We've made nineteen trips to the ladies room just so you can cough up a fruit or vegetable that wasn't really that good when you were a human!" Alice exclaimed indignantly. "And on another note, DON'T CALL ME SHORTY!"

"Alright, alright. I won't eat any more human food. But not calling you shorty...It'll be torture!" Bella whined.

"You are turning into Emmett! Next, you're going to sing the Wiggles, aren't you?" Alice asked, accusingly.

"What's wrong with the Wiggles?" Alice gave her an incredulous look and sighed.

"Whatever. But if I hear even one line of Dorthy the Dinosaur, your head will be sitting in a landfill!"

Maliik leaned over to Bella and whispered, "Is she always this violent?"

"Yes. She may be tiny, but she packs a very large punch." Bella replied.

"And don't you ever forget it!" Alice called from the front of a frozen lemonade stand. Chynah giggled.

"Alice, it's almost six. Shall we go back home?" Bella asked.

"One more hour. Please?"

"I promised Edward I'd be back by eight so I could pick up Renesme." Bella replied.

"Alright. Should we walk them to the hotel they're staying at?"

"No, no, that's fine. We know where it is. You can go without us." Chynah said.

"Are you sure? We wouldn't want to inconvienence you."

"We call cab. But thank you for offer." Maliik said.

"Alright. Do you want to come to our home on Sunday?"

"Sure!" After giving them their address, and saying their goodbyes, they left for the house.

* * *

When they got home, they were met by one very worried family at the door.

"Where were you? You didn't leave a note or anything. Edward's going spare!" Esme admonished, as she ushered them inside, where they made to stand next to the mantle.

"We're sorry Esme, but we had people we had to meet, and we were in kinda a hurry." At this moment, Edward burst through the back door, and enveloped Bella in one very tight hug.

"Where were you?" He growled, once he had released Bella.

"About that...I think you all better sit down." Everyone looked confused, but complied. Rosalie narrowed her eyes at them. Alice gulped.

"Umm...you see, I met this guy over the Internet. His name was Maliik." Edward let a slight snarl slip through his teeth. "And I found out he was coming to Seattle." It was Rosalie's turn to be angry. "So Alice and I went to meet him, and we found out thathe'savegetarianvampire."

"Excuse me, what was that?"Carlisle questioned.

"Him, and his wife, are vegetarian vampires." Rosalie looked murderous.

"Let me get this straight. You talk to this guy on the Internet once, and you're suddenly compelled to meet him? And he turns out to be a vampire? You could have endangered us all!" Rosalie screeched.

"Let us just be thankful that they're vegetarians. Anyways, how many of them were there?"

"Three. Just three. If they do turn out to be evil, we should be able to take them. They're not too old, the guy still has his African accent."

"But what if we don't want to take them? We've done enough fighting for you Bella, I don't think we should do any more. Look what happened with James and Victoria. We were all this close to getting killed!" Rosalie retorted.

"Rosalie, I hate to say it, but you are kinda right. If they are evil, and we try to take them, there is a chance that they have friends that will look for revenge. And those friends could turn out to be Benjamin, Amun, Kebi, or Tia. I don't think it would be any good to take that chance, in case they are evil, because it would put us in danger by having four other rather powerful vampires on our tail."

"Bella, Alice, I have to side with Rose. I'm sorry."

"They're vegetarians! What could they want from us? They have their Peruvian fire-breathing chucklepuffs, so what more could they want?

"Peruvian fire-breathing chucklepuffs? Wow. That's just...wow."

"I've never considered them. When I went on my trip to Machu Picchu, I smelled some great blood, but I thought it was possible I had found my singer. But when I got back on the bus, it was gone. It is a possible theory."Carlisle reasoned.

"There is no theory about it! You people have no trust in other people, human or otherwise!"Alice shouted.

"Why should we? We had the incident with James, then Jacob became a werewolf, then came Victoria, then came Irina! We lied to you as well, when you were a human. And we lied for you! We lied to the whole town! We have to! We're vampires, for crying out loud, we're not a very trustable species!" Edward burst out.

"If you're not a very trustable species, then why should I trust you? Why should Renesme? Jake? Anyone? Why would anyone trust you if all you did was lie? I know we have to, but it doesn't mean we have to conceal every single detail!" Bella yelled. "We didn't tell you about this trip because we knew one of you would try and hold me back! And we were right! You would think that nothing good would come of this! They could be evil, but they could also be allies! We don't have to conceal from them everything, or deny that we're vampires, because we're ones too! And I think you are right. You are not a very trustable species." Bella took a deep breath. "Because if you were, I wouldn't have to tell you and assure you a hundred times that Maliik and his wife are harmless. Because you think I'm untrustable, just like yourselves. And I'm not like you. I have a heart. And if you knew me, you would understand that."

"But you didn't tell us that you were meeting them! You are untrustable, just like us! You do lie to Charlie, and to the whole town! You knew about us, and you didn't tell anyone! You tryed to go off and see Jacob, and hide it from all of us! So in my opinion, you're just as bad as us!" Edward retorted.

Bella looked hurt. "Yes. I am. But I want to tell everyone the truth! If I could, without endangering everyone, I would. I would scream my secret at the top of my lungs, if I had the power! If the Volturi didn't exist, I would be happy! No lies, not anymore! You lied to me when Emmett crossed the border into the wolves' territory. You lied to me about Victoria hunting me! YOU LIED ABOUT NOT LOVING ME!" Bella yelled. "If we invited Maliik and Chynah in, we could do some good in this world. We could teach them to live among us like normal human beings. We can make them into makeshift humans, just like us! I don't want to be selfish! All I want to do is some good!"

"You say we like this family's going to participate." Rosalie said.

"I say we like me and Alice. Right, Alice?"

"I'm with her. She's right. All I want to do is not lie. Be open, and have everyone accept it. But that'll never happen as long as we're here. I want to do some good by helping Maliik, Chynah, and that random guy manning the boat. But if that's not doible, then I don't know what to do anymore!"

"Goodbye. Come on, Alice." With that, they stepped back out to the garage, into Alice's Porshe, and drove out into the night.

Back in the house, a very confused Emmett asked, "What just happened?"

A/N: Well, here it is. It took a lot longer than said it would, and I am really sorry for that. On another note, my Murderer story is put on hold until I finish this story. Sorry for the inconvinience. Thanks to all my readers for commenting and reading, and I'll probably have the next chapter up by Thursday!

Angora


	15. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics?

Chapter 13

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**Cheesehead-**They are such idiots.

**Shopaholic**-Definately. Chynah and Maliik are good people. Unlike some that we know.

**Cheesehead**-Amen. So what do we tell Maliik when we say that we can't show them our home?

**Shopaholic**-That I have a really stupid brother and sister.

**Cheesehead**-They are so selfish.

**Shopaholic**-Bella?

**Cheesehead**-Yes, Pixie?

**Shopaholic**-Why are we IMing if we're right next to each other?

**Cheesehead**-Unexplainable phenomena. This goes in the file with Roswell, the Loch Ness monster, and the making of hot dogs.

**Shopaholic**-LOL! But seriously though, why?

**Cheesehead**-Because I am sick of talking.

**Shopaholic**-Yeah. What are we to do with our newly found friends?

**Cheesehead**-We try to find them, I guess. Then we'll tell them about our situation. After that, we flaunt them, take them to Forks to meet my dad, and our family will be begging for us to take them back.

**Shopaholic**-Wouldn't that be using them?

**Cheesehead**-I guess so...but it's worth a shot. It's complicated.

**Shopaholic**-Fine. We'll do it.

**Cheesehead**-I'm going to walk around the city. I'll be back around four, okay?

**Shopaholic**-Bring me back a t-shirt! And a mug. Don't forget the mug!

**Cheesehead**-*snickers* Okay Alice, I'll bring you back a mug. Bye!

**Shopaholic**-Have a good time, Bella! Bye!

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**Shopaholic**-Please remember the mug, please remember the mug, please remember the mug, please remember the mug, please remember the mug...

**Shopaholic has logged off.**

* * *

In the meantime...

**WealthyGuardian has logged on.**

**JacobWolfe has logged on.**

**MachoGuy has logged on.**

**EmoDude has logged on.**

**MachoGuy**-I can't believe what just happened. They just walked out on us!

**JacobWolfe**-I heard what happened. I am so sorry dude.

**WealthyGuardian**-Thanks guys. But I fucked up bad this time.

**EmoDude**-No offense man, but this is mostly your fault.

**WealthyGuardian**-Thanks Jasper. That is so heartwarming.

**EmoDude**-Well, it's true! You set yourself up for this by being jealous about the whole Maliik thing, and Bella met him to spite you. Which led up to that conversation. And it's sorta my fault too.

**MachoGuy**-I had nothing to do with it.

**JacobWolfe**-And neither did I.

**EmoDude**-Fuck off.

**JacobWolfe has logged off.**

**MachoGuy has logged off.**

**WealthyGuardian**-You're right. It was my fault. Urgghhh, why do I have to be such an idiot!

**EmoDude**-You're not an idiot! You just have a heart.

**WealthyGuardian**-What should I do? I don't know how to get her to take me back.

**EmoDude**-You left her once, and you guys got back together.

**WealthyGuardian**-But that was different. This time, she left me.

**EmoDude**-She can't go too long without you. Last year proved that.

**WealthyGuardian**-But that's the problem! I'm too mad at her to make her want to come back now.

**EmoDude**-You do want her to come back. You love her. Just remember that. You love her.

**WealthyGuardian**-I love her. But this is a bit much.

**EmoDude**-This probably won't go down well, because of what you said, but you need to trust her.

**WealthyGuardian**-I trust her. But I don't trust him.

**EmoDude**-Trust Alice as well. She'll keep her safe and away from trouble. She's a newborn anyways. She has super strength.

**WealthyGuardian**-Can't believe she would leave Renesme like that, though. I thought she cared.

**EmoDude**-She might have a good reason. Just trust her and Alice, Edward. Trust them.

**WealthyGuardian**-You are good at these conversations, Jazzy. You're better than that JoeMillionaire guy I met over the internet.

**EmoDude**-I'll be a psycologist in a few years. Don't you worry. And when I scar a person for life, I'll blame it all on you. Now, I'm worried about Alice, so I think I'm going to go looking. Bye!

**WealthyGuardian**-Bye Jasper!

**EmoDude has logged off.**

**WealthyGuardian**-Jacob Wolfe? How does Bella come up with these things, honestly?

**WealthyGuardian has logged off.**

**A/N: **Remember the chucklepuff I mentioned in the last chapter? What I think it should look like is on my profile. Thanks for reading and reviewing guys! And if this stupid boat can go any faster, the next chapter will be up by Thursday!

Angora


	16. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics?

Chapter 14

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**EmoDude has logged on.**

**EmoDude**-Alice, where the hell are you?

**Shopaholic**-I'll tell you when you grow a heart and a spine, Jasper.

**EmoDude**-Look, just because I said that keeping the friendship with Maliik wasn't good doesn't mean you have to prey on me too!

**Shopaholic**-You don't understand. There are more important things than strategy. But I'll put this in warrior's terms for you. You are fighting for the other side. You are just an opponent to me now. You hurt Bella, did you know that? She was crying yesterday. And so was I. And tears came. They actually came. I cried. Real tears. Because of what you and Edward said. And what Rosalie said didn't help either. And what you said really hurt us, Jasper. So until you take your head out of your ass, and accept Maliik and Chynah and Maliik, this is war.

**EmoDude**-Alice, you can't do this.

**Shopaholic**-Yes, I can. And I will. I can't believe you would do something so hurtful to Bella. So if you hurt her, you hurt me. And I won't stand for you hurting any one of us, let alone both. Bye Jasper.

**EmoDude**-But Alice, I-

**Shopaholic**-No buts. Now shoo, so I can get on my way. It was unpleasant speaking with you, Jasper.

**EmoDude**-Unpleasant speaking will you too, Alice.

**Shopaholic has logged off.**

**EmoDude**-Wow. I never knew she could just cut me off like that.

**EmoDude has logged off.**

**A/N:** Sorry for the short chapter, this dingy doesn't have any power so I'm stuck using battery powered chargers for my laptop. Anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing guys! And if this stupid boat can go any faster, the next chapter will be up by Thursday!

Angora


	17. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics?

Chapter 15

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**Shopaholic**-I talked to Jasper yesterday.

**Cheesehead**-Oh?

**Shopaholic**-I blew him off. I feel horrible now.

**Cheesehead**-What exactly did you say?

**Shopaholic**-I basically told him we were on different teams, and until he accepts Maliik and Chynah, we're not coming home.

**Cheesehead**-I'm so sorry, Alice.

**Shopaholic-**Don't be. He deserved every word of it. And yes, I probably will regret this later.

**Cheesehead-**Well, it was a bit harsh.

**Shopaholic-**Yeah. I don't normally act nasty, so I suppose I overdid it. I was right, though.

**Cheesehead**-I don't want to drive a wedge between you two.

**Shopaholic**-You're my best friend, and my sister. If this means I have to go against my mate because of his discrimination, then I will.

**Cheesehead**-I know what'll cheer you up!

**Shopaholic**-Nothing can make me happy right now.

**Cheesehead**-I can debate that. I saw the cutest top in Forever 21 yesterday...

**Shopaholic**-Really? We're going shopping? *hops up and down in excitement* Yay! I'll get my coat!

**Shopaholic has logged off.**

**Cheesehead-**What have I gotten myself into? She's like a hyperactive puppy who wears Prada!

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

* * *

Meanwhile...

**EmoDude has logged on.**

**MachoGuy has logged on.**

**EmoDude**-I talked to Alice yesterday.

**MachoGuy**-Really?

**EmoDude**-She blew me off. Now I feel horrible because I didn't support her.

**MachoGuy**-I'm so sorry Jasper.

**EmoDude**-Don't be. I deserved every word of it.

**MachoGuy**-Don't cut yourself down like that! You did what you thought was right. Everyone makes mistakes. Even vampires. But how it turns out is up to you.

**EmoDude**-Should I talk to Edward?

**MachoGuy**-No. He's sulking. Not the best time to do anything that involves him.

**EmoDude**-Yeah. Can you talk to Bella for me?

**MachoGuy**-Sure. I just hope she's not really sore about this whole thing.

**EmoDude**-Yeah. Talk to you later?

**MachoGuy**-Yeah. Bye!

**EmoDude**-Bye.

**EmoDude has logged off.**

**MachoGuy**-I'm toast if I'm going to talk to Bella. Wheat toast! Wheat toast with Nutella on top! NUTELLA!

**MachoGuy has logged off while screaming like a little girl.**

**A/N: **I can get in maybe 3 chapters today. Thanks for reading!

Angora


	18. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics?

Chapter 16

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**MachoGuy has logged on.**

**MachoGuy-**Hey Bella!

**Cheesehead-**Hey Emmett!

**MachoGuy**-So...

**Cheesehead-**Are you supporting them because you don't want Rosalie mad at you, or because you really support the cause?

**MachoGuy-**Because I'm severly afraid of Rose. You and Alice are like my baby sisters. If this came to a fight...I don't think I would do anything. You guys mean so much to me.

**Cheesehead-**Awww...I never thought Emmett Cullen would actually get all mushy on me. But seriously, I do understand. I feel the same way about Edward. It's just that, I can't stand his discriminations sometimes. And what he said just made me so mad, and I snapped. I don't think I could be around him right now. And there's Nessie we have to put into the equation as well...I don't want to leave her without a mother as long as this lasts. I didn't know we would be gone for this long. I wasn't thinking but you're out of your mind if you think for one second that I'm coming back right now. I think it's better for her to stay over there for as long as this lasts. If she asks a question, and I go psyco on her..not good.

**MachoGuy-**Okay, okay. Hold up there, girl. So...what did you think of the Packer's game on Sunday?

**Cheesehead-**Brandon Underwood played well. What did you think?

**MachoGuy-**The Bears lost...I cried.

**Cheesehead**-What did you expect? They were playing the bestest team in the world!

**MachoGuy-**I thought we were talking about Green Bay, not Indianapolis.

**Cheesehead**-*growls and glares*Alice is calling me to go shopping. TTYL!

**MachoGuy**-So that's what you're doing? Shopping? I expected more from you, Bella.

**Cheesehead**-It's a distraction for Alice. And then she overdoes it, and it becomes a distraction for me.

**MachoGuy-**Oh. Okay. See you later!

**Cheesehead**-Bye!

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**MachoGuy**-I forgot to ask Bella if she'd buy me a pair of heels...

**MachoGuy has logged off.**

**A/N: One of three coming today...**


	19. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics?

Chapter 17

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**Cheesehead-**Emmett tried to talk to me yesterday.

**Shopaholic**-And?

**Cheesehead-**We chatted for a bit. He's on the opposing side because he is deathly afraid of Rosalie.

**Shopaholic-**Ah. I suppose he's neutral then. Anyways, what else did you talk about?

**Cheesehead-**Nessie, the Packers game two days ago, and shopping.

**Shopaholic-**You two talked about shopping?

**Cheesehead**-Correction. We talked about you and shopping.

**Shopaholic**-Oh, okay. Is Renesme alright?

**Cheesehead-**She has no idea, if that's what you mean. Onto more pressing topics, I found a store called Bonnie's Boutique when we were walking yesterday...

**Shopaholic-**I'll get my coat!

**Shopaholic has logged off.**

**Cheesehead-**I wonder which of coat she's going to choose out of the 297 she bought yesterday...

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

* * *

**Back at the Cullen House...**

**MachoGuy has logged on.**

**WealthyGuardian has logged on.**

**MachoGuy**-I talked to Bella yesterday.

**WealthyGuardian**-Is she okay? How about Alice?

**MachoGuy-**They're fine. They're staying in a hotel, from what I can hear, er, see.

**WealthyGuardian**-Did I do the right thing?

**MachoGuy**-No offense, but you were blinded by your jealousy.

**WealthyGuardian**-If he is evil, he might hurt her.

**MachoGuy-**Bella's a newborn. She still has her super strength. And she has Alice.

**WealthyGuardian-**That is slightly reassuring...But Maliik has a wife.

**MachoGuy-**Edward Anthony Cullen! They. Are. Fine.

**WealthyGuardian-**But what if he is evil. Then what'll happen?

**MachoGuy**-Not many vegetarians are evil. Laurent cheated, so he doesn't count.

**WealthyGuardian**-I still worry though.

**MachoGuy**-Edward, she loves you. Even though you are a jealous phsycomaniac at the moment, she loves you. Very very very much. And she feels terrible. You're her mate, so go talk to her!

**WealthyGuardian**-What if she rejects me like Alice did to Jasper?

**MachoGuy**-Well, he did start with "Where the hell are you?" I think you can come up with a more appropriate greeting than that. Just say you're sorry, and that you were an idiot. Which you were.

**WealthyGuardian**-I figuratively get my coat!

**MachoGuy**-That's the spirit!

**WealthyGuardian has logged off.**

**MachoGuy**-That method never once worked for me...I'm dead meat! I'm sirloin! SIRLION!

**MachoGuy has logged off.**

**A/N: **Two of three coming today...


	20. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics?

Chapter 18

**WealthyGuardian has logged on.**

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**WealthyGuardian**-Bella, I am so sorry! I've been an absolute ass lately, and I feel horrible about it. Please forgive me?

**Cheesehead-**Hmmm...

**WealthyGuradian-***sighs*

**Cheesehead**-Of course I forgive you!

**WealthyGuardian-**Really?

**Cheesehead**-Really. I've missed you.

**WealthyGuardian-**I've missed you too. So how're you holding up?

**Cheesehead-**I've been talking Alice shopping lately, to distract her. I'm not faring too well.

**WealthyGuardian-**Should I come and get you?

**Cheesehead**-And go back to that hell hole? Let me think...No. Can you bring Renesme over here, and stay in the hotel with me and Alice?

**WealthyGuardian-**What I am going to tell the family?

**Cheesehead-**That depends on you. Just act depressed, and say you're going somewhere. And you have no idea where somewhere is.

**WealthyGuardian**-That could work...Okay, see you in a bit!

**Cheesehead**-Bye!

**WealthyGuardian has logged off.**

**Cheesehead**-There is no way in hell Alice is gonna like this...

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**A/N: **Thanks to my readers and reviewers! And sorry for the short chapter. Okay, I might not be able to update for a while because me and me dad are going to try and go from San Diego to Lima, which will take a while by tiny sailboat, so the next chapter could be up by Thursday at the soonest. Sorry!

Angora


	21. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics?

Chapter 18

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**Shopaholic:** What the hell were you thinking, bringing him here?

**Cheesehead: **Honestly, Alice, it's not like I dragged Rosalie over here. It's Edward.

**Shopaholic: **Do you mind explaining your point?

**Cheesehead: **Was he that outspoken?

**Shopaholic:** Do the words, "You are untrustable, just like us! You do lie to Charlie, and to the whole town! You knew about us, and you didn't tell anyone! You tryed to go off and see Jacob, and hide it from all of us!" sound familar to you?

**Cheesehead:** I strongly suspect lye.

**Shopaholic: **Are you out of your freakin' mind? Edward can't get drunk? How many times do you think I've tried pouring sodium hydroxide over his kill? It doesn't work!

**Cheesehead:** Yes. But that's not the point. As much as he tells me not to, I trust Edward.

**Shopaholic:** And I don't! He said not to!

**Cheesehead: **You make a good point...But he's my mate. Do you trust Jasper?

**Shopaholic:** After that s*** he pulled? Hell no!

**Cheesehead: **Okay then. New approach. Why do you not like him being here?

**Shopaholic: **'Cuz you forgot about the fact that we're all in the same hotel room? I should be asked before you bring men in here, you know.

**Cheesehead: ***blushes*

**Shopaholic:** Was it that hard to tell me?

**Cheesehead: **Ummm...Yeah!

**Shopaholic: **You can't have seriously forgiven him so quickly.

**Cheesehead: **So what if I did?

**Shopaholic:** But why? After what he said...How could you? You were crying after your rant, too. How can he hurt you like that, and you can jump into his arms?

**Cheesehead: **No clue. But seriously, I think you're just bitter that you don't have Jasper right now.

**Shopaholic:** I'm bitter? I'm bitter? I'M BITTER?

**Cheesehead: ***shrinks away from the extremely angry pixie*

**Shopaholic: **Okay! That's it! Get out, b****!

**Cheesehead:** *squeaks*

**Shopaholic: **That's right. Now I'll give you 10 seconds to sign off before I turn your head into a stress ball. Ten.

**Cheesehead: **Alice, be reasonable.

**Shopaholic: **Nine.

**Cheesehead: **Seriously, Alice, you are pretty bitter.

**Shopaholic:** Five.

**Cheesehead:** Five! How did you get to five?

**Shopaholic: **You just made me more mad. They're my own damn rules, I'll change them if I want to. Four.

**Cheesehead: **Honestly, why?

**Shopaholic:** Don't get me pissed, Bella. It's too late for you now, though. Three.

**Cheesehead:** I'm scared.

**Shopaholic: **As you should be. Two.

**Cheesehead: **Evil pixie.

**Shopaholic:** Thank you very much. One.

**Cheesehead:** Are your teeth supposed to be that sharp? !

**Cheesehead has been disconected.**

**Shopaholic:** Edward's gonna be so pissed at me now...

**Shopaholic has logged off.**

**Author's Note:** I'm so freakin' sorry for not updating! The sailing trip didn't go too well, and I managed to break my wrist trying to control the boom. We had to stop in Callo, Peru, and spend two weeks there while my wrist healed. I got to visit my dad's family though...Which was pretty great, save the cat who kept trying to take my cast off. My dad was pretty happy to see them, though he is kinda pissed that we had to spend time and money in a Peruvian hospital. Ah well. I'll update soon, 'cuz we're not gonna cast off for another week. Cookies to my readers and reviewers, even if you flamed me. And sodum hydroxide=lye.

Angora


	22. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really be writing fanfics?

Chapter 20

**WealthyGuardian has logged on.**

**Cheesehead has logged on.**

**WealthyGuardian: **Bella, do you mind explaining why Alice threw me out of a window yesterday?

**Cheesehead: **She did WHAT?

**WealthyGuardian: **Threw me out of a window. Why?

**Cheesehead: **Ummm...She's PMSing?

**WealthyGuadian: **What did you do?

**Cheesehead: **Nothing.

**WealthyGuardian:** I don't believe you...

**Cheesehead: **I might have called her bitter...

**WealthyGuardian:** You called her bitter? Bella, what the hell were you thinking?

**Cheesehead:** I was pissed! Give me a break!

**WealthyGuardian:** Never ever call Alice bitter! Anything but that!

**Cheesehead: **Why can't I call her bitter?

**WealthyGuardian:** An incident with a lime...Long story.

**Cheesehead:** We got time!

**WealthyGuardian:** As long as that news crew is in front of that hotel, no, we don't. Major damage control time.

**Cheesehead: **I got a bad feeling about this. You're gonna have to do some major flirting, right?

**WealthyGuardian:** You're the reason we're in this mess!

**Cheesehead: **With Chynah and Maliik, or with Alice?

**WealthyGuardian: **You know I don't blame you for Chynah and Maliik. But I do with Alice.

**Cheesehead: ***raises eyebrow*

**WealthyGuardian:** I don't!

**Cheesehead: ***raises eyebrow even higher*

**WealthyGuardian: **Maybe just a bit.

**Cheesehead: **That one is my fault. Anyways, Chynah and Maliik want to meet you tomorrow. Around 4-ish.

**WealthyGuardian:** Alright. I'll comply. They don't bite, do they?

**Cheesehead: **Of course not! Oh wait...*snickers*

**WealthyGuardian: ***laughs* Oh wow, Bells.

**Cheesehead: **Did you just call me Bells?

**WealthyGuardian:** Yeah...Why?

**Cheesehead:** My dad's the only one who ever does that.

**WealthyGuardian:** Is that a bad thing?

**Cheesehead: **No. You can call me Bells if you want. I won't mind.

**WealthyGuardian:** Okay, Bells. So, back to the matter at hand...

**Cheesehead: **Oh, would you look at the time!

**WealthyGuardian:** Bella!

**Cheesehead: **Gotta go!

**WealthyGuardian: **Bells!

**Cheesehead has logged off.**

**WealthyGuardian:**I was talking about Chynah and Maliik.

**WealthyGuardian has logged off with a sigh.**

**Author's Note**: Thanks to all my readers and reviewers! I'm sorry for not giving Nessie a bigger part in this story. I will give a hint to whats coming next week though:

**Ihavemyownthrone**-Aro

**Imsoemo**-Marcus

**Imsoconfused**-Caius

**Imsopsycho**-Jane

I got nothing against Jane, just by the way. Thats for next time though. I won't do anymore updating today for sure. Bye!

Angora


	23. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, a taco has just been crowned the king of England.

Chapter 20

**Ihavemyownthorne has logged on.**

**Imsopsycho has logged on.**

**Imsoconfused has logged on.**

**Imsoemo has logged on.**

**Imsoemo: **I have my own throne? Seriously, Aro?

**Ihavemyownthrone: **What's wrong with it?

**Imsoemo:** Its kinda...lame.

**Ihavemyownthrone:** Lame? Lame? I'll have you know that you don't have your own throne! Off with your head, whoever you are!

**Imsopsycho: **He's Marcus.

**Imsoemo: **And you, Jane! I'm so psycho?

**Imsopsycho: ***blushes*

**Imsoemo: **Wait! Don't tell me yet. I want to get a mouth full of tea!

**Imsopsycho:** WTF?

**Imsoemo: **Please continue.

**Imsopsycho:** I wasn't going to tell you anything.

**Imsoemo:** Someone tell me something interesting! I took a drink of tea and I want to get it out right now!

**Imsoconfused:** Umm...I'm so confused.

**Imsoemo: ***sprays tea all over Jane*Oh wait, that wasn't really that interesting.

**Imsopsycho: ***shrieks*Eww! It burns! It burns! You complete idiot, Marcus!

**Imsoemo:** Its about time that I take my leave.

**Imsopsycho: **You better.

**Imsoemo:** *screams like a little girl*

**Imsopsycho has logged off.**

**Imsoemo has been perminantly disconnected.**

**Ihavemyownthrone:** Oh dear. Now I have to find a replacement for Marcus. *sniffs* Is that...fried chicken?

**Imsoconfused:** Umm...I'm so confused.

**Ihavemyownthrone: ***sighs*

**Ihavemyownthrone has logged off.**

**Imsoconfused: **Umm...I'm so confused.

**Imsoconfused has logged off.**

**Author's Note: **Yeah, this was short and comepletely random. I will give the Volturi a part in this story for sure, just how big of a part is still being disputed inside my brain with Frank Bruno and Ezzard Charles (Throw a left! Throw a left! No, your other left!) and a big huge part seems to be winning. For those who are wondering how I'm not posting for being on the open ocean, I torched that sailboat, and took a plane back. And my dad's not happy, because we're stranded in the U.S. of A for about 5 months. I'll be updating at least once a week. I give giagantic homebaked items to those who read my story, and took the time to review. See you soon!

(Due to her annoyance with formalities) Gora


	24. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, a taco has just been crowned the king of England.

Chapter 22

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**WealthyGuardian has logged on.**

**Shopaholic has logged off.**

**WealthyGuardian: **I have a limited edition Gucci bag with your name on it.

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**Shopaholic:** You have 10 seconds to explains before I log off.

**WealthyGuardian: **I was mad! Bella went off a met a guy from over the internet! And you didn't stop her! Plus, you threw me out the window!

**Shopaholic:** I tried! And sorry about that.

**WealthyGuardian: **And you gave in within 2 seconds.

**Shopaholic: **That night was not the first time you broke her heart.

**WealthyGuardian: **Now listen here Brandon, I-

**Imsopsycho has logged on.**

**Shopaholic:** *stares* Who are you?

**Imsopsycho: ***smiles*

**Shopaholic: ***screams* That fuckin' hurt bitch!

**WealthyGuardian:** Alice! What the hell is going on?

**Shopaholic: **Jane can hurt people over the internet.

**WealthyGuardian: **Alice, turn off your computer quickly!

**Imsopsycho: ***smiles*

**Shopaholic has been disconnected.**

**WealthyGuardian: **Jane, what the hell are you doing?

**Imsopsycho: **Isn't your girlfriend protecting you? Or did she dump you for that one dashing, African vampire?

**WealthyGuardian:** *flushes angrily* She would never-

**Imsopsycho:** Don't you know where she is?

**WealthyGuardian: **She went to go see Chynah and Maliik. Why?

**Imsopsycho: **Edward, Edward, Edward. Can you explain why I can see her through my window?

**WealthyGuardian: **Why are you in Seattle?

**Imsopsycho:** I'm not.

**WealthyGuardian: **Why is she in Volturra?

**Imsopsycho: **She paid a little visit. With Renegade.

**WealthyGuardian: **It's Renesme. What did she say?

**Imsopsycho: **She was wondering if we'd do a service for her.

**WealthyGuardian:** I dearly hope you mean cleaning.

**Imsopsycho: **Something about murder and drunken debauchery with dead fish...*laughs*

**WealthyGuardian: ***screams*

**Imsopsycho: **Just kidding. I wish I could see your face.

**WealthyGuardian:** I hate you. But still, how did you know all that about Maliik?

**Imsopsycho:** I have my methods.

**WealthyGuardian: **Say them!

**Imsopsycho: **Nah...I won't tell you we got a new vampire who can see everything about every person she knows.

**WealthyGuardian: ***sighs* Tell me!

**Imsopsycho: **I just did, you complete imbecile!

**WealthyGuardian: **.

**Imsopsycho: **Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to hunt.

**WealthyGuardian: **I don't. Just get me out of this conversation.

**Imsopsycho: **Bye! *smiles*

**Imsopsycho has logged off.**

**WealthyGuardian: ***screams in pain*

**WealthyGuardian has logged off.**

**Author's Note: **Here ye, here ye, I have just a changed a screenname of one of my charecters:

**HellsBells**-Bella

Thanks to all my loyal readers and reviewers! Ta for now!

Gora


	25. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, a taco has just been crowned the king of England.

Chapter 23

**HellsBells has logged on.**

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**HellsBells: **Alice, will you please tell me what the hell is going on?

**Shopaholic: **What?

**HellsBells: **You know what I mean.

**Shopaholic:** No, I don't. Tell me!

**HellsBells: **Jane! She's more dangerous now that she can hurt other people through the internet!

**Shopaholic:** How did you know?

**HellsBells:** I could hear you screaming from Chynah and Maliik's room. And Edward was attacked too.

**Shopaholic: **That's harsh of her.

**HellsBells:** And her screenname is Imsopsycho. That scares me.

**Shopaholic: **True, but we already knew she was crazy.

**HellsBells:** Good point. Her attack means we have to watch our backs now. What if the coven in Forks gets hurt?

**Shopaholic:** I would tell you to ask Carlisle, but what he said will never warrant that type of behavior.

**HellsBells: **I suppose we should call a truce with them. We don't have to be friends, but we can at least be allied for now.

**Shopaholic:** There are five of us here, and six there, not counting the wolves.

**HellsBells: **Eleven and Jake's pack should do it. I'll message Carlisle and ask him.

**Shopaholic: ** Yeah. I hope this all works out.

**HellsBells: **Me too.

**Shopaholic: ** Send Edward my love. And a huge apology for throwing him out the window.

**HellsBells: ** Will do. Bye Shortie!

**Shopaholic: ** Au revior!

**HellsBells has logged off.**

**Shopaholic:** Damn, I forgot to ask her to bring a mug.

**Shopaholic has logged off.**

**Author's Note: **Well, here it is. Thanks to all those who took the time to read and review. Next chapter will be up today or tommorrow.

Gora


	26. Interlude:  Alliances

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, a taco has just been crowned the king of England.

Interlude: Alliances

The bright, sunny day dawned over Seattle, blanketingthe city in a ethereal glow as it woke up the guests inside the Seattle Hilton. One hotel room in particular was already up, as they could not sleep, and roaming around their presidential suite in boredom. A baby cried from their living room, and the people within the suite strode out to see what was wrong.

"Bella?" Edward asked tenetivly.

"Yes?" Bella answered, a slight quiver noting her nervousness in the things to come.

"Are you sure about this? It could be some sort of a trap."

"I can risk it. If you don't want to go, don't. The absence of one member of our coven will not risk the whole peacekeeping operation."

"I'll go. Its just...I don't know whether you're ready to face them or not."

"Edward, what they did to us is unexcusable. Guilt and hurt are two things I save for those worthy." Bella stated, quiver in her voice quite gone, replaced with pure confidence. Edward flinched back slightly. This was not the Bella he had come to love.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I am better than I have ever been."

"Don't lie to me Bella. You have never acted like this before."

"Can we talk about this later? As much as I'd love to have this conversation, we don't have time for it." Edward hissed almost silently, but did not question her actions.

"What are we to do with Renesme?"

"I hired a babysitter. She used to take care of me sometimes. She'll be fine." Bella said, words taking on a harsh tone not unlike that of a pile broken glass and never-before-used razorblades. And with those final words, Bella walked out the door. Edward followed, locking the door behind him.

"Lets take the stairs. If there's no one in there, we can use vampire speed." A quick nod from Edward told her they would not be seen, and one second later, Isabella Marie Cullen stood outside the revolving doors of the entrance, waiting for the other three.

"Bella!" Alice shouted, coming from the opposite direction. Alice tossed her the keys, and started the car. After making some minor arangements to the seating arrangements to fit Chynah and Maliik in, they were off, traveling to the Olympic coven's headquarters in seconds.

* * *

An hour later, they arrived in the small town of Forks, Washington. It was dead. Not one car, nor one human could be seen through the eyes of the five vampires. And by scents they were smelling, not one human was anywhere in the town. After shrugging it off as unexplained phenomeana, they continued on. Finally, after what seemed like years, they arrived at the house of the Olympic coven. They walked out of the car, and walked up to the door. One ring of the doorbell later, they could see inside the house. Esme, who had answered the door, enveloped Bella in a tight hug. Bella stiffened, and Esme let go imediately.

"Bella?" She asked, seeing the cold look in her eyes.

"We must speak to Carlisle." Bella said, tone void of all emotion. Esme was taken aback by this, but brushed it off.

"Come in." She replied, stealing a cautious glance towards the five vampires. Once in, they discovered the others lounging on the couch, watching a football game. Now that they had stepped in, no one was paying attention to it.

"What are they doing here?" Growled the female blonde. Jasper looked at Alice, eyes pleading. She returned his gaze with malice.

"I don't know." Said Esme.

"If it's an apology you want, you're not getting it."

"That is not what we came here for. Now, where is Carlisle?"

They found Carlisle in his study, eyes guarded.

"Hello. What brings you here?"

"I'm afraid Jane is a problem. We wanted to warn you, and speak of a possible alliance between our covens." Bella said, not hesitating one bit.

Carlisle sputtered and looked lost for a moment. "Covens? There's only one coven here." A growl from downstairs, no doubt Rosalie, rebounded through Bella's ears.

"I'm afraid that's incorrect, Mr. Cullen. There are two: mine, and yours." She said, remaining calm and collected.

"Bella, I-" Now, he was at a loss for words.

"Can we get back onto the topic please? This is hard enough as it is, Mr. Cullen." He pursed his lips, but complied. An awkward silence settled over them as Carlisle contemplated her words.

"I can do an alliance."

"Excellent. I shall see you later, Mr. Cullen." Before she could step out the door, Carlisle caught her arm.

"What did we do to you, Bella?" He whispered.

"A lot of things that you can't take back." She said, and the coven returned to the car. Just as the car was disappearing, Carlisle felt a pang of remorse for what he and his family had done, and walked back into the house, calling a meeting as he went.

**Author's Note:** This is a short chapter. I though I should make it longer somehow...But I can always give a bonus chappie today to make up for it. Thanks to all my readers and reviews, to whom I sent Jell-o!

Gora


	27. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, a taco has just been crowned the king of England.

Chapter 24

**WealthyGuardian has logged on.**

**HellsBells has logged on.**

**WealthyGuardian: ** What is your problem?

**HellsBells:** I'm sorry Edward. I just...can't be me without getting hurt again.

**WealthyGuaridan: **You were so...cold. It was frightening.

**HellsBells: ** I know. I didn't like it much either.

**WealthyGuardian: **Promise me you won't be like that again.

**HellsBells: ** I wish I could, Edward. But if us two covens are going to be allied, you're gonna see a lot of it.

**WealthyGuardian: **If only things were different.

**HellsBells: **Me too, Edward. Me too.

**WealthyGuardian: ** How do you think this will end?

**HellsBells: ** I don't know. I wish I did.

**WealthyGuadian: ** I love you Bella.

**HellsBells:** I love you too, Edward.

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**Shopaholic: ** Now isn't this touching.

**HellsBells: ** Alice!

**WealthyGuardian:** Alice!

**Shopaholic: ** Fine, fine, I'll log off. I can tell when I'm not wanted.

**WealthyGuardian:** Goodbye, Alice.

**Shopaholic:** *pouts*

**Shopaholic has logged off.**

**WealthyGuardian: ** Well, now that we're alone...

**HellsBells: ** *giggles*

**HellsBells has logged off.**

**WealthyGuardian has been disconnected.**

**Author's Note: **This will probably be the last chapter for today. Nah, scratch that. To all those that read and reviewed: COOKIES!

Gora


	28. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, a taco has just been crowned the king of England.

Chapter 24

**MachoGuy has logged on.**

**HellsBells has logged on.**

**MachoGuy: **Hopefully, the change of name signifies you are no longer a Packers fan.

**HellsBells: **Never will I betray them. Tough nubs, buddy.

**MachoGuy: ***sighs* So what was yesterday about? That was just...cold!

**HellsBells: **It hurts to deal with them without screaming. So, I shut myself out.

**MachoGuy: **Anyways...I-

**HellsBells: **Hold that thought. *drinks water* Okay, now you can tell me.

**MachoGuy:** I left.

**HellsBells has been disconnected.**

**Machoguy: **Bella?

**HellsBells has logged on.**

**HellsBells: **That's great, Emmett! Where are you now?

**MachoGuy: **What just happened?

**HellsBells: **Oh, I shorted out the computer because I spit out water all over it, but that's not relevant.

**MachoGuy: **I'm driving to Seattle.

**HellsBells: **Come, stay with us! Edward is dying to talk to someone that's not a female.

**MachoGuy: **Okay, okay, consider me there. We have a problem though.

**HellsBells: **Uh oh. Tell me, what?

**MachoGuy:** Rose took her convertible and she's chasing me down the highway.

**HellsBells: **That is so not good. What car are you driving?

**MachoGuy: **My jeep. Why?

**HellsBells:** It's time to do some offroading.

**MachoGuy: **This is why you're my favorite sister.

**HellsBells: **K. Message me when it works.

Two minutes later...

**MachoGuy: **Bella?

**HellsBells:** Hey Emmett.

**MachoGuy: **It didn't work. I crashed into a tree. But she zoomed past me.

**HellsBells:** Sorry Emmett. I'll buy you a new one. Now, use your vampire speed and zoom off!

**MachoGuy: **You're at the Seattle Hilton, right?

**HellsBells:** Yeah.

**MachoGuy: **Alright. I'll see you there sis.

**HellsBells: **Hope you get there okay. In how many minutes should I expect you?

**MachoGuy: **Two. No, wait, make that three. Rose is after me again.

**HellsBells: **Well I wish you the best of luck, Private Cullen!

**MachoGuy:** You too, Major Cullen!

**MachoGuy has logged off.**

**HellsBells: ** He's screwed. Poor Emmett. I actually liked him. *sighs*

**HellsBells has logged off.**

**Author's Note: **Yeah, updating's gonna get a bit slower now that I introduced my Harry Potter edition of the iMessenger saga. But I will assure you updating will be done at least once a week. So thank you to all those that read and reviewed, and good night!

Gora


	29. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, a taco has just been crowned the king of England. Oh, and I also don't own Dynamite by Taio Cruz.

Chapter 24

**MachoGuy has logged on.**

**HellsBells has logged on.**

**HellsBells:** Hey Emmett. How's your day?

**MachoGuy:** Great, Bells. How's yours?

**HellsBells: **Oh, its okay.

**MachoGuy: **When do I get to see Chynah and Maliik?

**HellsBells:** When you get some self control. If you hug them to death at first sight, I don't think we'll see them again.

**MachoGuy: **Hey! I have self control! *smashes extremely expensive china plate*

**HellsBells: **Whatever you say, Emmett. Whatever you say.

**WealthyGuardian has logged on.**

**HellsBells: **Hey, Edward!

**WealthyGuardian:** Hi Bella.

**MachoGuy: **What about me?

**WealthyGuardian:** Hi doormat.

**MachoGuy: **Hey! I am not a doormat!

**HellsBells: **Really? I never noticed!

**MachoGuy: **I guess doormats can't sing, can they? Let me test that theory.

**WealthyGuardian: **Cover your ears!

**MachoGuy:** *starts singing* I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying ay-oh, gotta let go-

**WealthyGuardian:** Oh god! Emmett, stop that insufferable racket right this instant!

**MachoGuy: **I wanna celebrate and live my life, saying ay-oh, baby let's go-

**HellsBells:** *growls* That is quite enough, Emmett Cullen.

**MachoGuy:** 'Cuz we gon rock this club, we gon go all night-

**WealthyGuardian: **Okay, okay, you're a vampire!

**MachoGuy:** *stops singing* Glad you finally admitted it.

**WealthyGuardian:** I just couldn't stand, um, whatever you call that noise you made.

**MachoGuy: **You and Bella should know what all kinds of noises are called...

**WealthyGuardian:** *growls* Emmett!

**MachoGuy: **I'm gonna shut up now.

**WealthyGuardian: **Good.

**Shopaholic has logged on.**

**Shopaholic: **Whatcha doing?

**MachoGuy: **Having a threesome. Wanna join?

**Shopaholic: ***crickets chirp in background*

**HellsBells:** Emmett!

**WealthyGuardian: **Emmett!

**Shopaholic: **Ummm...I'm gonna have to decline your offer.

**HellsBells:** *growls* Emmett Cullen, you will retract that or I'll shred your lawn gnome to bits!

**MachoGuy: **No! Not Morpheus!

**WealthyGuardian: ***amused* Did you seriously name your lawn gnome after the god of dreams? Why?

**MachoGuy:** What! I thought that meant something else.

**WealthyGuardian: **Do we really want to know?

**HellsBells: **Think about that question very carefully, Emmett. Then, do not tell us.

**MachoGuy: **Come on, Bella!

**HellsBells: ***growls* I'm not an angel, Emmett. I'm sure you know that.

**MachoGuy:** That's what Edward said, too.

**WealthyGuardian: ***chokes on food he wasn't even eating* Emmett!

**Shopaholic: **As much as I'd love to continue this conversation, the loss of limbs this "playful" banter will certainly end in is not covered by our health insurance. And I don't wanna pay.

**MachoGuy: **Shortie's right. I'd rather keep my appendages.

**HellsBells:** I'm not very sorry to note that that will never happen if you make another comment like that again. And didn't I ban you from making them?

**MachoGuy: **Come on, Bella! You know you love them!

**HellsBells: **Emmett Cullen, I most certainly do not!

**MachoGuy: **At least Edward does. He loves seeing you pissed. He thinks it's sexy.

**WealthyGuardian: **I most certainly do not!

**HellsBells:** Excuse me?

**WealthyGuardian:** I didn't mean it like that Bella, I was just denying whatever embarassing thing Emmett was saying without thinking about it.

**HellsBells: ***growls* That better be true. *snogs*

**WealthyGuardian has been disconnected.**

**MachoGuy: **Well, it seems we should leave.

**HellsBells: **Yeah. That's right. Fuck off.

**MachoGuy:** Going.

**MachoGuy has logged off.**

**Shopaholic:** Hey! Get off my bed!

**HellsBells: **Not a chance, shortie.

**Shopaholic:** Do you have any idea how much I paid for that bedspread? Off! Now!

**HellsBells: **Nope. Never.

**Shopaholic: ***drags off bed*

**HellsBells: **That hurt, bitch!

**Shopaholic:** Serves you right. Now, I'm gonna leave before I see more of my brother than I ever want to. Stay off my bed, kay?

**HellsBells:** *pouts*

**Shopaholic: ***growls* Off.

**HellsBells: **Come on, Alice!

**Shopaholic: **I swear, if you do anything on my bed while I'm out shopping, I'll make sure you'll never get any for the rest of your vampire life.

**HellsBells: ***sighs* Fine.

**Shopaholic: **Thank you. Now, if you need me, I'll be at the mall.

**HellsBells:** Me and Edward say bye!

**Shopaholic: **Yeah. I can see him waving.

**Shopaholic has logged off.**

**HellsBells:** *giggles* Alice, you are the queen of innuendo.

**HellsBells has logged off.**

**Author's Note: **I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this. If you don't like it, I'll change it. Read and Review to tell me if I should. Anyways, thanks to everyone that read and reviewed! Big cookie cakes to you all!

Gora


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